Gavin saying goodbye to our house in Frisco.
May 31st in his/Shelby's bedroom.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
june, june..june bugs
June.
Shelby's Tea Party is only days away. I thought of this event standing in the shower months and months ago. It came to me as I stood there letting the water fall on me, bathing me with warmth..comfort. Quiet time.
Tea time, tea party. Shelby and I played it almost every day. She would gather her babies around us, sometimes dollies, other times beanies or bears, we would have the little tea set out, sugar cubes..
"Cheers! Salud!" we would say clinking our cups together.
Of all the pictures I do have of Shelby, I have none playing tea party. How strange. I cried when I first realized this, cried and cried.
My love for Shelby is unchanged, unwavering..constant and steady.
My missing her is also.
There are moments still that I think, "This isn't real..didn't happen." I feel suddenly struck with grief in the realization that it is and it did.
Shelby's Tea Party is June 11th-14th. We are having ours June 11th,
the day she was diagnosed.
..bringing joy to such a sorrowful day. A day that changed the world as I know it. The day that changed my perspective about life and living, about death on earth and living on the other side.
Shelby's Tea Party is only days away. I thought of this event standing in the shower months and months ago. It came to me as I stood there letting the water fall on me, bathing me with warmth..comfort. Quiet time.
Tea time, tea party. Shelby and I played it almost every day. She would gather her babies around us, sometimes dollies, other times beanies or bears, we would have the little tea set out, sugar cubes..
"Cheers! Salud!" we would say clinking our cups together.
Of all the pictures I do have of Shelby, I have none playing tea party. How strange. I cried when I first realized this, cried and cried.
My love for Shelby is unchanged, unwavering..constant and steady.
My missing her is also.
There are moments still that I think, "This isn't real..didn't happen." I feel suddenly struck with grief in the realization that it is and it did.
Shelby's Tea Party is June 11th-14th. We are having ours June 11th,
the day she was diagnosed.
..bringing joy to such a sorrowful day. A day that changed the world as I know it. The day that changed my perspective about life and living, about death on earth and living on the other side.
Friday, March 6, 2009
missing my TSRF blog
I have been unable to use my blog, but happily I have figured out the problem. I'm back!
This year has been really weird having passed the one year mark (December 18th) of Shelby's death on earth and passage to her new life as an angel. It was another complete adjustment and a reality check that life does keep going even when I just want it to stop and standstill, or to move backwards. The "missing" is the one constant now in my life.
Shelby's friend Jayla Cooper relapsed and is on hospice and I have been so sad. I know many of you know about her now too from her "wedding/party" that was picked up by CNN, CBS, etc.. Skyler, my 15 year old daughter and I were there celebrating her life now, her time here and her beautiful and infectious smile.Lisa her mom told me the other day how important it is for the news to get out, to educate.
I want to shout it out "Our children are suffering, our baby girl's and boy's are leaving our aching arms and our kisses- Leukemia. Leukemia" It is a long journey now from here to God, to Shelby's outstretched arms. Day to day I must try and make something of this time, missing her with every thought and every step.
Gavin had his 2ND birthday on March 1st. Just look in awe at the photo's, the spirit- angel-orbs that came to play with him. Shelby is a gift beyond things imagined and understood.
Shelby's birthday is April 14Th, her 4th. I helped her blow her candles on her 2nd birthday and then she was gone 9 months later. I am seeking all that is behind the scenes since then, the mystery in the next life..
and she lets me peek in. Lisa is seeking too, with Jayla beginning to "see" angels and "golden butterflies" she is lifting the veil..slowly too.
This year has been really weird having passed the one year mark (December 18th) of Shelby's death on earth and passage to her new life as an angel. It was another complete adjustment and a reality check that life does keep going even when I just want it to stop and standstill, or to move backwards. The "missing" is the one constant now in my life.
Shelby's friend Jayla Cooper relapsed and is on hospice and I have been so sad. I know many of you know about her now too from her "wedding/party" that was picked up by CNN, CBS, etc.. Skyler, my 15 year old daughter and I were there celebrating her life now, her time here and her beautiful and infectious smile.Lisa her mom told me the other day how important it is for the news to get out, to educate.
I want to shout it out "Our children are suffering, our baby girl's and boy's are leaving our aching arms and our kisses- Leukemia. Leukemia" It is a long journey now from here to God, to Shelby's outstretched arms. Day to day I must try and make something of this time, missing her with every thought and every step.
Gavin had his 2ND birthday on March 1st. Just look in awe at the photo's, the spirit- angel-orbs that came to play with him. Shelby is a gift beyond things imagined and understood.
Shelby's birthday is April 14Th, her 4th. I helped her blow her candles on her 2nd birthday and then she was gone 9 months later. I am seeking all that is behind the scenes since then, the mystery in the next life..
and she lets me peek in. Lisa is seeking too, with Jayla beginning to "see" angels and "golden butterflies" she is lifting the veil..slowly too.
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